WHAT THE FUCK.

Since our horribly arduous exam is coming up this Tuesday, our teacher decided to cancel our lab session. Due to this, our class came to an extremely early end.

As I'm leaving the classroom, this cat that I occasionally chat with comes up to me with his usual greeting. He's a white guy. Portly, Jewish, republican, nerdy, Wal-mart-esque attire, and at an even more superficial level, rather unattractive. You might be asking 'Why do you have to point out that he's unattractive? That's rather cold of you.' Well, pay attention sucka, cause I'm about to tell you why.

We start jib-jabbing about the material on the test and the meticulousness of all this shit we covered. He then proceeds to ask me what I'm doing this weekend, and I told him that I'm probably going to be studying my ass off, but other than that, I'm gonna be doing nothing. Then....

Sidenote: You know how psychologists and communication experts say that 90% of all communication is non-verbal? Now, picture the most awkward non-verbal communication signs that an educated individual can pick up when they are in a situation of being asked out by another individual, much like the one described above. I'll give you a few minutes. Okay. Ready? Let's continue.

..he pulls out his phone, saying exactly these words, periods and all.

walmartman: So...um, I was wondering...you know, if you aren't going to be doing anything,...and since you said you will be free and all...you know, if we could..hang out sometime?

(I thought he was talking about a study group. My naivety lead me to say this:)

handsomeman: Sure. We can get together a study group and work shit out.

walmartman: oh...well, we could do that if you want, but i mean, not that. You know, like, just hanging out,..the two of us.

handsomeman: oh....

walmartman: yea..

handsomeman: (still naive) yea whatever man, I'm down for some statistics talk and a beer. My number is (blahbalbhabl)

walmartman: cool. thanks.

handsomeman: Okay. I gotta jet. Take it easy dude.

walmartman: byeeeee.





I left class.

As I started to walk back to my car, it hit me.

I just got hit on.

By a man.

At first, I thought I was being stupid and paranoid. Why would a cat like that be hitting on me? Maybe he just wants friendship. Maybe hes bored and thinks I'll be a cool person to hang out with.

But my years of psychological training, people watching, and awkwardly talking to girls informed me that I knew better. All the signs were there.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Lately, I've only been meeting males. I am being more social this year. I'm talking to a lot of people, making acquaintances, and talking to more women that I would talk to in a decade. BUT YET, I ONLY END UP MAKING FRIENDS WITH MALES AND MEETING MALES.

WHAT THE FUCK.

WHERE ARE THE GIRLS AT!?

Am I really that unattractive to the ladies? Shoot. And why is it that I only meet girls who are married or engaged or in serious, deep relationships, or even worse, 17?!

AND WHY DO I GET HIT ON MY UNATTRACTIVE MALES? AT LEAST HAVE A DECENT LOOKING ONE HIT ON ME SO I CAN THINK TO MYSELF 'OH WOW. THAT MEANS IF I EVER TURN GAY, I COULD PULL A MAN LIKE THAT.'

The conclusions I have reached today are as follows:
1) God hates me
2) I'm not going to get a girl for a while.
3) If I want ass, I need to start enjoying penis in my butt or mouth.
4) God hates me.

Anyway. I basically got asked out by a guy today. This is the 2nd time this has happened to me. Hence, the subject title.

Fin.