Jonz in my Bonz

4:30pm.

My house is empty.

The village is quiet.

Sin juice flowing in my veins.

Harmonziing to D'angelo.

I'm drunk off my knickers.

ahah.

Ignore this post.

If you can.

FUCK.

Fuck people. This is why it's so fucking hard to trust anyone and trust the people around you. I stay positive and shit, but sometimes humanity is just too fucking complicated.

I have to keep my room locked 247 now.

I guess I'm naive after all.

I haven't learned shit.

"Everything that happened to you could have been prevented." - the Angered Padre. (in reference to the mugging, the camera jacking, the debit card loss, and now, the credit card theft.)

I think its unreasonable to think that way, but I hate it when my dad is right. hahah.

Fuck people. Fuck em.

Ain't shit that's right in this world ladies and gentlemen.

Shit ain't right.

Rewind.

Spring break + sickness = movie time!

My activities this week:

Movies by Kevin Smith
-Jersey Girl: I love this movie. It's a shame that people don't really dig it like I do, but alas, it's quite good and touching.
-Mallrats: Classic. Long monologues and kryptonite condoms.
-Clerks: Reminds me of working behind a counter. Another classic.
-Chasing Amy: Great GREAT GREAT movie. Check it out if you haven't.
-Jay & Silent Bob Strikes Back: bwahaha. NOOCH.
-Dogma: My favorite religious movie. haha.
-An Evening with Kevin Smith: This made me want to go on this Kevin Smith binge. He's fucking hilarious.
-An Evening with Kevin Smith 2, Evening Harder: Funny as shit. Kevin Smith is a god amongst men.

Random Movies
-Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: eh. It's worth downloading, but I would have never paid to watch this. Also, Zhang Ziyi is horrible. Example: "Yu r so lich n pawafur. We hab onher. My poot sordier ej belly pawafur."
-Ghostrider: I liked it. It wasn't fantastic, but it was a pretty good movie adaptation of the comic and hero.
-The Breakfast Club: It's been a while since I watched this flick. I love it. It's making me want to go on a John Hughes binge.
-Star Wars 2 Phantom Menace: The best out of the recent 3, but still pretty fucking bad.
-Pursuit of Happyness: Love it.
-Night at the Museum: It was okay. Kinda cheesy. Kinda good. Kinda interestin.
-Casino Royale: This movie made me forget the terrible Bond movies within the past few years.
-Friday After Next: Not as good as the OG hood classic, Friday, but still fun.


Yep.

I'm quite pathetic.

Someone entertain me.

Itchyhead

Have you ever had one of those days where you brush your teeth 5 times without realizing it?

Because, I just had one of those days.

While I was brushing my teeth (5 minutes ago), I ran through all the activities I did today. I woke up late, drank some water, I brushed my teeth, I watched an episode of Scrubs, I brushed my teeth, I chatted it up with a housemate, I took a shower, I brushed my teeth, I....wait. WTF?

Yea. I brushed my teeth three fuckin' times this morning.

WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS HAPPEN TO?!? Am I that dumb and clueless? How did I manage to brush my teeth 3 fuckin' times in the morning and not realize this until now?!

So, there I was, brushing my teeth, in awe at the human mind's ability to have really bad memory, when I realized that it was 4AM. 'Shit, it's late. What did I do for the last 4 hours?' 'Let's see. I ate some late night chips (fries, for you Brit-challenged), ate a piece of cheese, brushed my teeth, watched Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back, and...fuck.' I did it again.

I BRUSHED MY TEETH 5 TIMES TODAY.

WHAT
THE FUCK.

*sigh*

Monkey Suite

I think I'm addicted to chocolate.

So, during Easter, Cadbury goes crazy and sells their chocolate eggs right?

Well, they were on sale at Tesco, so I made my housemate buy me some while she was there. I mean, you can't pass up a sale on chocolate. No human being can hear of a chocolate sale and go 'Nah, I'll pass on that. Buy me some healthy stuff like mushrooms and beets.' GET THE FUCK OUTTA HEA. IT'S CHOCOLATE FOO. Anyway.

This was....a week ago?

She bought me 4 Cadbury Chocolate Eggs, which were hallow. All of them had treats inside, which was, of course, more chocolate.

These things are huge. Seriously. FUCKING HUGE. Or I should say, WERE huge. Ha...

So. That was last week.

Time has tumbleweeded on.

Today. 2:04AM, the 26th of March, year 2007.

I vanquished the last half of a hallow Cadbury Chocolate Easter Egg.

AND IT WAS DELICIOUS.

Forget the fact that these things have a huge calorie count and can probably kill a small cow.
Forget the fact that these things were enjoyed with an alcoholic beverage.
and forget the fact that it's fucking 2AM in the morning and I'm eating chocolate while watching MY SASSY GIRL.

Bah.

I'll go back to watching mushy korean movies.

I'll never get any studying done.

Fuck you chocolate.

..(I would if I could)

So Far To Go

My immune system likes to fuck around with me.

It has a sick personality. (GET IT?! Ha.)

I couldn't sleep all night. It was cold as fuck and my head was killin' me.

I don't understand why I keep getting sick randomly. I eat healthy, I do some exercising and I don't smoke and/or drink (a lot).

I swear, I must be getting bacteria from the cutlery or plates that I'm using, because I can't see any other explanations for this madness.

Or the food I'm buying isn't as organic as I thought.

I don't know.

I'm going to hit the B E D and sleep a little longer.

What a good start to spring.

Powderfinger

Half Nelson.

Go watch this. The most organic cinema I've seen in a long while.

Ryan Gosling is going to do big things with his career.

Playa Playa

I almost got in a fight on the bus today.

Two drunken English boys fucking around with racial statements does not please Jason.

I went to town with my housemate and two friends.

It was quite boring (and expensive).

One had boy problems, one had girl problems and the other one was too busy with another boy.

I was quite bored, being the only one single and not having problems with the opposite gender.

Clubs are overrated.

ps: Brit's don't have rhythm.

No Greater Love

Spring and Break. Two beautiful entities. However, by their powers combined, they form an even more beautiful entity. After hours of glorious lovemaking, they created SPRINGBREAK.

Thus, SPRINGBREAK was born.

SPRINGBREAK lived her life as if she was born anew everyday. Her presence is quite unlike anything else I've experienced.

I started dating her today. I actually noticed her a couple of weeks ago, from far away, but was too nervous to approach. I was unprepared, unfocused and undressed. iJoke about the last one.

We had fun today. We went out to the Woodys, the village pub, and had a couple of pints and about 4 Jack&Cokes. Talked about the most random shit ever (Sci-Fi shit and Eminem?) while watching Talledega Nights (which was fucking horrible. Both of us agreed.)

After the pub, I saw her off to her flat and came back to my room.

Here I am.

Ah. (I'm tipsy as a mothafucka, so if this entry was lame..then I'm sorry. ahaha)

(Let us drink, be merry and kill our brain cells.)

I Still Love H.E.R.

I know I talked about how I don't agree with some things that go on in Hip Hop culture...

but damn.

These past few years have been GREAT for Hip Hop.

It's 2007. March, 22nd. There are about...8 albums that have come out, which are on constant rotation by me. Those are just the GREAT ones too.

I LOVE IT. I LOVE THIS SHIT. Today, on the bus, I was listening to Redman's mixtape (for the umpfh time) and I was getting soooo hyped. There was this old lady with too much old lady perfume sitting next to me. I wanted to smack her. That's what Redman does. Oh man. I know that seems really violent and whanot, but you just have to listen and love his aggressive style to understand. He makes me want to get in fights for no reason and start insultin people while smoking a joint. AND ON TOP OF THAT, he comes with the sickest lines ever.

I can't even sleep right now because I have his album on rotation.

and people complain and moan, saying Hip Hop is dead. MAN PLEASE. You ain't lookin hard enough. Ya'll don't even listen to the lyrics anymore, huh? Just the beats.

Hip Hop is alive and well. GREAT albums/mixtapes/EP's/remixes are being released every day/week from the mainstream and from the underground communities.

Besides, don't be one of those snobs who won't listen to mainstream Hip Hop music, thinking it's all trash. IT'S NOT. Besides, ya'll know you love to dance to those addictive club bangers.

STOP SLEEPIN YO.

Those Things

I didn't even drink that much last night, yet I feel very hungover.

Well, I did drink a lot....cause I can't seem to find my money.

I don't understand hangovers. I get them more often when I've drank just to the point of getting DRUNK (not drunk. DRUNK.) If I go crazy and have a shitload of alcohol, I don't usually get hangovers the next day. I'm assuming that daily waking stress and/or tiredness could have a significant effect because I was extremely exhausted yesterday, pre-goingouttotownanddrinking.

Who wants to explain the anatomy of a hangover to me? haha.

or I could just google it...but no.

FOOD AWAITS!

ps: Spring break starts for me this thursday. Wooo. I love spring.

Space MAN

What exactly defines masculinity?

Earlier today, I watched a film done on Hip-Hip and the masculinity of the black man in America. While I'm not a black man in America, I was intriguied by the question that this film brought up. What is masculinity and how do we define it?

When I was younger (more like, during high school), I always took horrible yet fun personality tests in hopes of somehow trying to understand a bit more about myself. I remember one distinct test I took in speech, where Kunal & I came out as the most feminine personalities in the entire class. Kunal beat me out by 3 points, but still, I was quite surprised. This test was telling me that my personality traits were stereotypically feminine and I showed almost no sign of masculinity. BOO I say. BOO. Honestly though, I was quite pleased with myself at the time. Shit, I prouded myself as being a nice guy. That's all I could be back in the day. I don't know why, now that I think about it. I think that I felt like being a nice guy would get me farther in life, farther with school and farther with ladies. However, I wasn't really a nice guy. I think there were a lot of situations where I wanted to express myself, but I would put those feelings six feet under and played the role of a nice guy. (Disclaimer: Friends, this role did not take part with you. This is the role I played with almost everyone else though.) Anyway. I never felt like a MAN. My dad would occasionally say shit that would test my masculinity and I would almost always fail the test. Haha. Anyway. The 'feminine' personality traits and the nice guy role really made me question my masculinity as a teenage male.

I've matured a lot since then (no ego-o). Now, I don't play no role. I still take personality tests because they are fun, but honestly, I know myself more than what the MMCI, Rorshach or DSM-IV could ever tell me. I look back on myself and realize that I was a BOY. A child. I'm not sayin that I'm the definition of masculinity now, but I think I'm close, closer than I've ever been. So the question that needs to be answered here is, what is my definition of masculinity? I'm just going to point out two main aspects, because a lot of other traits of masculinity can fit under these.

- CONFIDENCE. Being, knowing and loving yourself. I'm confident about my choices, which allows me to be confident in myself. I don't need to portray some fake thug image (even though I may cuss like one), I don't need to be emo or hipster or indie and I don't need to lie about how I feel. (I'm not saying you aren't a man if you fit with these crowds, so don't get it twisted. This is my subjective view from my own personal experience.) The confidence also lets me be introspective, giving me infinite room to grow as a man, as a human, so that I can express myself as I please, instead of having to follow the trends of popular culture's view of masculinity. Shit. I don't need to look like Brad Pitt to feel good about myself. OWN YOURSELF. My motto in life right now is, 'Do you.' Do you and everything will fall in place. I wasn't what you could call a 'confident young lad' back in the day. Actually, I was bloody insecure.
- RESPONSIBILITY. This might come off as old fashioned, but I think responsibility is an important factor in growing as a man. Being responsible for your actions as a male. I see a lot of guys my age who can't seem to grasp the idea of responsibility. Whether they are white or asian, their minds seem to be somewhere else, which really limits them, mentally. This is a vague aspect though. Responsibility for what, right? Everything, I suppose. I think this is another reason why I would definitely want a family in the future. They say that boys become men after they learn the responsibilities of raising children. I most definitely think theres truth to that. And no, I don't want children for the sake of my own growth. I want a family because I think one of the greatest responsibilites a person could have is to raise a child. In our modern society, this might not be the case for some people, since our views about norms such as marriage and family are ever-evolving. However, after being raised by my parents and watching a countless number of other parents raising their children and working hard for a cohesive family unit, I can't pinpoint anything else that would/could be more rewarding. I guess the question I would ask myself is "What kind of man would I be if I ran from adversity?"

I realized that I come off as a crazy old fashioned korean man. Hahahaha.

I'm still young. Mad young. I have a lot of time to experience new things and develop schemas about life. My view on masculinity will change later on. That's the beauty of it though. It WILL change.

While writing this however, I kept thinking to myself, 'Well what about femininity? Men aren't the only ones that should be confident and responsible.'

Then I realized that whether you are a man or woman, you should always strive for these qualities. I just put a male spin on confidence and responsibility, because thats how I see the world, as a male.

*I just wanted to add one more thing. This was discussed in the film as well.
This is hard for me, because I love Hip-Hop, but I get real sick of the misogyny in music at times. Objectifing women in music videos and songs have created such a negative impact on society. When men think of women, what automatically comes up first? Sex. This is a whole different post in the making, but I just wanted to point that out. Fellas, we gotta respect the women. Women = creation. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for them, yet you wouldn't think or know that if you pay attention to the media and it's oversexed use of women.*

I'm just doing me.

Go Out Clothes

I must be the only study abroad student who won't come back to the states with a thousand stories about drunken nights where I did this and did that until this happened, leading me to pass out and wake up hung over, just to do it all again.

Either I, somehow, don't let myself partake in social functions, or I just don't give a fuck.

I'll go with the latter.

Besides, I'm too poor to be the average study abroad student.

I get by with 100 pounds a month. Think of it as getting by with 100 dollars a month.

Yep.

Paying for next term's rent and bus pass will leave me with 200pounds to spend.

Ha.

PIMPOINT.

St. Patrick's Day.

+

England vs. Wales Rugby Day.

=

Essay Day.

*tear*

PS: I'm never eating Pizza Hut pizza again. I feel so groggy and lazy.
PS2: Heineken is tasty.
PS3: Why am I listening to Korean music? (Clazziquai Project owns.)

Big Poppa.

Um...

Self portraits. They are not that great. It's hard to take pictures of yourself. How do myspace mothafuckas do this shit? I feel like such a camera gangsta. *runs*

Walk It Out

*Pictures x-posted on Facebook*

The weather was great. There was sun, warm weather and a gentle breeze. My pictures, however, aren't that great. It's okay though. I had a good climbing session along the coast and had fun chatting it up with my mates. Here are some pictures.

One Minute More

The Photography Society I'm in has asked most of the active photographers to submit photos for a gallery.

I have no idea what photos I want to submit.

Help me?

If you liked any particular photo from my facebook, blog, or deviantart (check the links on the side), please tell me, so I can consider it for submission. I'll try to upload more onto my deviantart site so that you can check them out. However, this won't be done till tomorrow, since I'm a bit tipsy and in need of sleep.

'You are your own worst critic.'

It's true. All my pictures look like shit to me right now.

Anyway, thanks.

Oh. My photo nerds and I went on a coastal walk along Mumbles today. Dangerous rocks and rising tides equals good times. I'll post up some pictures on my next update, but it wasn't a good session today. Even though I welcomed the warm weather and the sun, there was too much sun for any good shots of the bay. Oh, I'll also upload some of the self portraits.

Don't expect a lot. Haha.

Camera/Gangsta

I want people to model for me so I can practice and hopefully enhance my portrait taking skills.

However, it's not easy to ask people, 'Will you model for me and let me take invasive pictures of you with my camera? Of course, you will get no cash money benjamins from this, but you will get added to my photography collection that others will look at and judge. Oh, I will make you look purrty too.'

I have no models, so for the past half hour, I've been practicing on myself.

Right before I decided to post this entry, I was testing out the white balance and ISO settings on this Nikon D50 on my face and shadows on the wall.

Then I realized what I was doing.

I feel like such a camera whore. I have about 40 pictures on this camera of myself doing random faces and tilting my head in awkward directions.

I know what you're thinking. 'You know you love it Jason, you camera whore.'

I swear, I was doing random faces because I knew no one else would see these and I was tilting my head because I wanted to see the different effects I could get from the ceiling light.

I SWEAR. DON'T QUESTION ME GODDAMNIT.

(But I do look pretty gangsta in some of these. A Preppy/Nerdy Gangsta.)

Anyway...

I need models. Please model for me. I'll buy you a drink and make you a tuna sandwich. I swear. I won't let you down. MODEL FOR ME!!!! MALE OR FEMALE!! (preferably female, because I like them. However, males are definitely welcome. EQUAL RIGHTS FOR MODELS I SAY!

S(e)oul Food.

I made Kimchi Jjigae (again), with the canned kimchi my parents sent me. This shit expires in the year 2011. It tastes horrible out of the can, but once it's in some boiling water with veggies, it tastes amazing. ahah. Honestly....while I was devouring the stew, I thought to myself, 'This is what HEAVEN feels like. This is what an INTENSE, BLINDING ORGASM feels like.'

It's true what they say about the food you grew up with. I can't imagine myself living without Korean food. I DON'T want to imagine myself living without Korean food. The casseroles, the stews, the side dishes, the soju and everything else makes life worth living.

This intense love has made me realize something. I have to learn how to cook Korean food for my survival in this world. (Or I could marry a Korean girl, but do Korean girls even know how to cook these days? *runs and ducks behind a sofa* No offense to my Korean sistas.)

When I go back to the states, I'm going to master Korean cooking. You hear me?! I WILL MASTER KOREAN COOKING. Once I master it, I will cook some food for yall and then we can celebrate the joyous food with Soju and cheesecake.

and saix.

iJoke.

I love Korean. FOOD. Culture. History. WOMEN.

Tank!

Instead of studying this weekend like I had planned, I ended up watching a whole series of Cowboy Bebop.

Best. Anime. Ever.

The music from this anime is amazing. I had to seek the help of Nima in order to track down all the soundtracks. He did most of the work for me (downloading, uploading), which was mad cool of him.

40's, 50's, 60's Jazz, Blues and Country. Each genre was done so well and really helped set the mood of the anime. The soundtracks were great. I spent a whole day (today) listening to every soundtrack involved with the anime series and basked in the musical glory of Yoko Kanno and her compositions.

Anyway, back to my attempts at understanding the psychological assessment of prisoners.

*yawn*

p.s.
Eating fruit with sharp knives is fun. There's an art to it.

The Real Man.

My padre is kind of irrational for thinking that the mugging of my camera and the loss of my debit card is due to my overwhelmingly irresponsible nature.

But, I didn't want to argue, because we are on good terms and because he told me his thoughts without raising his voice.

This can only mean one thing.



HE'S GETTING OLD!

haha.

Workinonit

I rented a camera (Nikon D50) from my Photo Society, so now I'm able to take pictures again.

I'm lovin' it.

I got more, but photo-blogging is hard and I'm quite lazy. Ha.

Portalbort Works.

Babylon.

East of Eden - John Steinbeck
100 Years of Solitude - Gabriel Marquez
Autobiography of Malcom X
The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
100 Love Sonets - Pablo Neruda
Blankets - Craig Thompson
Lolita - Nabokov
Song of Solomon - Toni Morrison

I just listed some of my favorites off the top of my head.


I need to start reading more.

Through the Fire.

Portalbort Works was quite amazing.

I'm glad I went on today's excursion with my little group of photo nerds.

Steel refineries, swamps, train tracks, dump trucks, weird shaggy pony AKA Grendel and virgin beach shores all in one day.

Pictures coming soon!

Hello Young World

I'm feelin' quite smart today.

and I want to get high.

AHAH.

I'm fully aware of the effects of Miss Mary Jane, but I'm willing to take the risk and smoke up.

I need find a connect when I head back to LB.

However, money is an issue here.

When I smoked up during my month of backpacking, it was all for free. I didn't have to pay a single cent to feel elated. However, I don't have that luxury anymore. These Brits smoke up everything before I get a chance to smooth talk them (with my American accent) into letting me take a few hits. They also smoke spliffs, which is a massive turnoff because I don't fuck around with tobacco like that.

I want that relaxing feeling. Also, a bag of potato chips. Kettle Chips, to be specific. Oh, and hot chocolate. Oh, and tequila.

but I digress....

Poetry in Motion.

I spent all day watching Def Poetry Jam clips on youtube.

I want to be a poet.

Not the Pablo Neruda, sit at home in the valleys and write in Spanish type poet, but a slam poet. I'm all motivated right now to write some poetry and perform it in front of people. Maybe even record myself doing a piece and posting it up.

I could have done this for OPP (Original Prose Poetry) back in the speech days, but I wasn't mature enough. All that was on my mind during high school was online gaming and getting fat.

but yea.

I will get on my poetry grind.

(I'm on a blog writing frenzy today. There's more to come. Besides, TheSimple is having negotations with Death right now, so I'm going to stick to this one.)

(If only I wrote this much for my essays..)

(Also, go read my man Donald's blog. It's lonely. It needs love and affection. Look for the link at the sidebar of my page. Hint: Quack)

Umi says.

Just an hour or so ago, I was on the bus back from uni, sitting next to a overly dressed welsh girl who smelled of melon and squash and enjoying my tunes bumpin from a 5-year old iPod. Now, on many buses, theres a section in the front or the middle where you can place bags or groceries. During this bus ride (and many previous bus rides), we hit a bump in the road while making a turn. This caused one of the grocery bags in the section to get knocked around, which dropped a thing of yogurt onto the floor of the bus.

There were about 6 people standing next to that section, glancing at the yogurt on the ground, and then looking back up and as if nothing happened.

Even the person who owned the yogurt and the bags of groceries couldn't find it in their heart to go pick up the yogurt off the floor.

I was slightly annoyed by this. How can 6 mothafuckas be standing right there and not pick that up and put it back in the bag? They weren't paralyzed, they weren't driving the bus, they weren't even listening to music.

But theres more.

We get to the student village. The bus driver parks. Everyone starts to exit the vehicle. What do they do? These fools walk OVER the yogurt. They didn't even have to look at it to make sure not to step on the shit. That move just told me that everyone on the bus SAW the yogurt there and planned their exit accordingly.

I was one of the few that was in the back, so I assumed that the yogurt belonged to someone in the long row behind me. It was my turn to get up and exit. Now, read carefully here. Before I left the bus, I bent down, and did the unthinkable. I PICKED UP THE YOGURT AND PUT IT BACK IN THE BAG. *GASP*

Are people wrapped up in themselves so much that they can't even pick up a yogurt from the floor? I know everyone heard that shit fall and everyone saw it right in the middle of the pathway, yet no one bothered to pick it up. Everyone chose to ignore it and let the person who owned it come and pick it up.

I know it seems like I'm taking something so little and making a big deal out of it, but its just something that annoys me and I had to get off my chest.

Not just this incident, but many others, where people just see shit happen and ignore it. 'It's not my problem, so why should I get involved?'

I guess I'm also annoyed that people do 'charitable' deeds only when its required of them.

Bah.

I could go on and on, but my hunger calls.

I still love the world and I love people, but yo.....

UFO

Just some stuff I go through everyday.

(at the club #1)
YT: 'Where are you from?'
Me: 'California'
YT: 'No, I mean, where are you ORIGINALLY from?'
Me: 'Korea'
YT: 'Oh? What are you?'
Me: 'Human, I hope. I'm also an animal. At least, thats what the ladies tell me.'
YT: 'HA, Duh, but I mean, what ARE you?'
Me: 'Oh, you mean, like, what AM I?'
YT: YEA!'
Me: 'I'm the person thats going to be walking away from you in about 2 seconds'
YT: 'Huh?
Me: '*walks away*'

(at the pub #1)
YT: 'Where are you from?'
Me: 'California.'
YT: 'Wow mate, do you live in the OC?'
Me: 'Yep.'
YT: 'So, my blokes and I were wonderin, do you ever surf to school?'
Me: 'Huh?'
YT: 'You know mate, surfin? I know all the people in the OC go to the beach and surf all the time, right?'
Me: 'Oh yea. I surf to school all the time mate. Sometimes, when I feel like ditchin, I just surf around the school, cause you know, our schools are right in the middle of the ocean. It's great. Instead of eating lunch that we pack from home, my rich white friends and I go out during our allocated lunch time and surf with the dolphins and seals until we catch some fresh mahi mahi! It's crazy man. We cut that shit up and eat it FRESH! I grew up on surfin, cause if you have eyes, you can see that I'm not as pasty like you and my other fellow Asians. Matter of fact, come down to the OC sometime. I'll introduce you to all these hot girls you see off the OC and we can all go surfin and sleep in my big expensive beach house in Newport.'
YT: '.....Lucky.'
Me: 'Tell me about it.'

(at the club #2)
YT: 'So can you speak Chinese?'
Me: 'No.'
YT: 'Japanese?'
Me: 'No.'
YT: 'Thai?'
Me: 'No.'
YT: 'Indian?'
Me: 'That's not a language.'
YT: 'Yea it is, you dumb bloke.'
Me: 'Okay. Speak some Indian.'
YT: 'Tikki Masala Curry! HA HA HA HA!'
Me: 'I have to go now.'

(on campus, at uni, in class)
YT: 'Wow, I'm surprised that you are so eloquent. Where did you learn how to speak english?'
Me: 'What?'
YT: 'I'm just saying, did you learn English here or back in your home country?'
Me: 'I learnt it back in the motherland. I went through a 3 month intensive course where we got whipped if we didn't learn english fast enough.'
YT: 'Really?! They do that in China?'
Me: 'Yes. They do that in China. And I know what you're thinking. We do eat dogs. A lot of them. I use to have this dog named XiaoTsing, who went out of control and tried to bite me, so I had to hang the little fucker and eat him, in order to honor his memory.'
YT: 'WOW'
Me: 'Yep. You Brits are so much more civilized though. Binge drinking, chain smoking and heavy unprotected sex have shown me the way, the UK way.'
YT: 'I love drinking too.'
Me: 'I can tell.'


If you haven't figured out by now, YT = whitey.
and yes, these conversations really took place.

Next time on UFO: Asian male who speaks english in a club?!? DRINKING ALCOHOL!?! WHERE?!

Stay tuned for more ignorance!

erotic city

i wont lie.

im not a liar.

i was never known to be a liar.

so, heres the whole, 100%, honest to god, on my family name, truth.

CAN YOU HANDLE THE TRUTH?!?!





i am in need of some lovin.

i havent crushed in a while.

lets crush. im kind of awesome. try me out, you just might like me.

(goes back to eating a flour tortilla)

orange krush

i havent slept for 30+ something hours.

im exhausted.

yet...i feel good.

cleaning your room is theraputic. i rearranged some books, organized my musty recycled-paper lecture notes, wiped off the dust from my desk, did my dishes, picked up all my clothes from the floor and put them in my plastic basket and even attempted to pick up any miniscule particle article i saw on the ground.

*post-break*

i just found this article about ANOTHER disturbing korean american family situation in california.
OC Woman Arrested For Trying to Kill Her Family
this is the 3rd or 4th time that this has happened. what the fuck is going on in the korean american community? why are they modeling their acts after the first few korean families that went through this? SHE DOUSED HER HUSBAND AND HER THREE CHILDREN IN GASOLINE AND TRIED TO SET THEM ON FIRE.

this disturbs me on many levels.

what reason would she have to do that? was her husband abusing her? did she have something to hide? was she ashamed? is she a psychopath? was she just being impulsive and didnt think through this at all?

and why the kids? why the 3 fucking kids? what did they do to deserve that kind of trauma?

i remember when i heard the first story about a korean man in LA who tried to burn his kids alive while they had on their seat belts in his car. in front of his business. that sent chills down my spine. i learned later on that he was ashamed of failing as a father and not being able to support his family, so he decided to burn his children alive, burn his business down and kill himself during the act instead of working to fix their living situation.

that was quite impactful. he would choose to burn his children alive along with himself because he had a hard time supporting his family. now, i dont know his family/financial situation front to back, but thats no way to run from your troubles. my parents were dirt poor when they started. i doubt my sister is old enough to remember, but i remember. they would work 12-14 hour days just to make a minimum living off a textile/sewing factory we had in garden grove. they breathed in dust all day and swept up dust all night. we lived in a small tan apartment that seems like it belongs in watts, not garden grove, aka ghetto shack, thats still there today. my parents were stressed. my grandmother was stressed. life wasnt easy. they couldnt afford kindergarten for me, so one of my parents managed to come pick me up at naptime and take me to work, while my grandmother watched over my baby sister. i was a brat, but i knew my parents were struggling. a lot of people were struggling back then. the only people i knew were people trying to get by, check to check. these beautiful people were on the GRIND. day and night. day and mothafuckin night. the great thing about the people i was around was the fact that they PERSEVERED AND KEPT ON IT. no one tried to burn their families alive!!! you stuck together and made it work. you got help from your friends and you returned the favor. the community supported you, whether you were mexican or black or asian or indian. whatever had to be done, you had to do it. this was and is the immigrant way. how come its become so tragic now? families killing each other and trying to burn each other alive? someone tell me.

why is this not being taken seriously in the korean community? i remember the korean newspapers reported it ONCE, the day of, and never reported an update, further investigations, ANYTHING, on the first string of these disturbing incidents. i had to seek out information from fox11 and shit. this is becoming a problem. copycats are showing up one by one, trying to set their families on fire.

the asian american community needs help.

i need to hurry up and get my degree. i need to get on MY grind. i need to go out there and start working with these families and the asian american communities. i cant stand this.

its fucking tragic.